Thursday, June 22, 2006

 
SHOCKING EMAILS REVEAL THE SHOCKING TRUTH! HOW SHOCKING!

Now that the intrepid cub reporters at TNR's The Plank have ripped the cover off the greatest American political scandal since Teapot Dome and the time Al Gore killed that hooker in the Buddhist Temple, the floodgates have opened and the raw sewage that is the Left Blogosphere is flowing like sewage, rawly.

An entire metric assload of supposedly alleged "private" and "off-the-record" e-mails between prominent liberal "bloggers" have been leaked to this blog's News and Journalism Division, The New National Whiskey Ashes Republic Review Online. We are sure that their appalling contents will appall you on account of their appallingness and appallingossitude.

What these "e-mails" reveal is the extraordinary power of the dark stranglehold one Markos Moulitzanigas, who for some as-yet-unexplained reason goes by the shadowy nom-de-blog "Kos," has over the entire Left Blogosphere. He is the founder of the Liberal site "Daily Kos," which nobody of any sophistication cares about because it is wildly popular and doesn't lose money -- sure signs of its irrelevance. He commands all the money that Liberal bloggers ever need, from the estimated $6000 startup costs of starting up a Kos diary, to the even more exorbitant entry fees needed to break into the hard-knuckled Blogspot rackets. If you haven't at least offed a hobo, he won't even talk to you. Or so goes the word on the street, anyway.

Below are the e-mails. You won't fucking believe this shit, man. But it's all %100 True Real.

The first one comes from one Duncan Blacke, from Eschaton.com. He's talking about some problems he's been having lately with his career:
DUNCAN BLACKE

Kosfather, a month ago, this director, he bought the rights to this book, a best seller. The main character, it's a guy like me... wouldn't even have to act, just be myself. Ah, Kosfather, I dunno what to do, I dunno what to do...
And here's the response:
KOS

YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN! Slap!
And it only gets worse. Here's a message from angry liberal blogger Stephen Gillard:
STEPHEN GILLARD

These big media journalists are dangerous to your blog-fleet, NOT to this bloggle station. Any attack by nosy journalists against our liberal advertising network would be a useless gesture, no matter what private e-mail data they've obtained. Our blogs are now the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it. Don't try to frighten us with your sorceror's ways, Lord Kos! Your sad devotion to your ancient fundraising sceheme has not helped you win any elections, or given you clairvoyance enough to help you find the Republicans' hidden Diebold machines -- GAAAK! GAAAK!
And the chilling reply:
KOS

I find your lack of faith... disturbing.
My source tells me that it this point Kos did some weird finger-thing and choked Gillard. Freakshow.

Finally, here's one from Christine Harding Smythe, and it's probably the most spooky of all:
CHRISTINE HARDING SMYTHE

May I speak plainly?... If you'll forgive me, Kos is common... He's like an animal. He has an animal's habits. There's even something subhuman about him. Thousands of years have passed him right by, and there he is. Markos Kos-alski, survivor of the Stone Age, bearing the raw meat home from the kill in the jungle.
Kos's reply will shock you:
KOS:

Take a look at yourself here in a worn-out Mardi Gras outfit, rented for 50 cents from some rag-picker. And with a crazy crown on. Now what kind of a queen do you think you are? Do you know that I've been on to you from the start, and not once did you pull the wool over this boy's eyes? You come in here and you sprinkle the place with powder and you spray perfume and you stick a paper lantern over the light bulb - and, lo and behold, the place has turned to Egypt and you are the Queen of the Nile, sitting on your throne, swilling down my liquor. And do you know what I say? Ha ha! Do you hear me? Ha ha ha!
You don't even want to know what he does next.

How can this monster be stopped? This is an extremely legitimate question.

Comments:
My god, it's full of bloggers.
 
Kos drinks New Coke.

And they don't even make New Coke anymore.

Plus, he killed my dog's cat's mouse.

I'd shake my fist at him, in a physical manifestation of my anguish, but... I dare say no more.
 
I am shockified and appallionioused. I have never in all my years as a bloggsquatter commenter seen such raw sewage.
 
Kos owes my Golden Retriever a new hymen.
 
He can't be stopped. It is our fate to be ruled by the Mighty Kos. You may as well just accept your future. You will be happier in the end.
 
I don't want to know about that monster and how to stop him.

I just want to know what the duck is doing.


I wanna see ducklings!
 
And what of the ponies?

Will someone, anyone, PLEASE think of the poor ponies?
 
Your day of reckoning is soon, non-believer. You've been the mouthpiece for Big Bacon far too long.

Speaking as a foot soldier for the left-blogosphere, consider yourself on alert...
 
"How can this monster be stopped? This is an extremely legitimate question."

Maybe you can get some of those rouge mallards to rough him up a bit.. you know.. ruffle his feathers?

:D
 
I have a woody from staring skeptically at my Lara Croft poster. Would Kos mind?
 
Maybe you can get some of those rouge mallards to rough him up a bit.. you know.. ruffle his feathers?

:D
# posted by refinnej : 9:56 AM


Rouge mallards? Do they have eyeliner mallards as well?

Kos is 12! What is the MSM afraid of?
 
I am overwhelmed by the appallingtrociousness of the appallingossitude hereabouts. Quick, somebody convene a Blogger Ethics Panel!
 
Kos was their target from day one. Jerome becomes Kos.


K STREET IS NAMED AFTER KOS!

Let us examine TNR's treatment of other recent sacandals if we are to assume Jerome actually did do such activity as is claimed.

Aside from the possibility of partisan enforcement can we compare this the myriad republican funding scandals and kickback street's pay to play world? Is this an effort to mute such views by trying to single out influential voices who could highlight the corruption?

How many "ongoing investigations" has TNR given the republicans a free pass upon? Yet JA gets the full monty and heavy handed, heady scrutiny of selective moral outrage that TNR wears like a superman cape.


Not too many of us cite Jerome as "an authority" on anything, nor do we kos, like me they are citizens motivated by moral outrage. We at times agree over the depth, breath, and scale of ethical trespass exhibited within our highest offices of all three governmental branches. The creepy fascist overtones they have shown is now manifested to all levels of state government(Kentucky abolitionists of free speech are but one example) and the final step will be to see this occur on a local basis.

Forgive people for speaking out against misdeeds as they can best determine. We see on TNR the close similarity to Pravda over the past decade. The moral outrage of hunting down Clinton has suddenly turned into a hunt after citizens and bloggers. What isn't said by TNR is a better indicator of the extent to which their sympathies lie and where our nation faces crisis.
I said nothing when they came for the gypsies...

Meanwhile the person uses personal emails as an example of Kos going after people? Outing people for their views is proof of kos outing people?

Let's clue you in on how it goes at dkos... the ratings systems allows the community to ban people. Enough bad remarks and people will feel obligated to ask others to act or the hosts cue into such necessary corrective action.

So people complaining of being kicked down there arrive at that point by means of consensus.

Most of us are ready for Jerome to say whatever it is he has to say about this supposed scare mongering over his business history. Then we can examine it against action and decide for selves what holding he will retain within our blogosphere. If this is an "ongoing investigation" will we see it get the same carte blanche pass that was given to Ashcroft, Fleischer, McMellan, Bush, Rove, Cheney, Libby concerning Plame?

Where has TNR been with this thinly veiled ad hominem against bloggers? People who talk online are suspect now? This coming from an online site? Oh, it's okay unless you're liberal? Safavian did four felony counts and is in jail, a four count felon was in the Bush White House, and TNR said what? Office of Managament and Budget procurement dxirector at that.

Distraction campaign, then used by proximity to go after one of the big dogs. We've seen this done before, and guess what - Clinton's approval rating went up.

That's a fact even Clinton-critical Markos will admit. Imagine that- a libertarian Democrat critical of the Clenis who also opposes Joe Lieberman. It defies category!


-Mr.M
 
"Do they have eyeliner mallards as well?"

We can only hope...
 
Why are my comments screened? What new hell is this in the swamp we call blogs?
Is it so that they can be used as stolen e-mail? hmphh
 
Kos killed JR, fathered Angelina's baby, used the Vulcan Coma-Grip on Ariel Sharon, and bio-engineered a generation of hardy cockroaches that toppled Bugman DeLay.

He lit the fuse on the Improvised Blog Device on this post, so if you don't leave within 5 seconds, you'll be the next martyr sans virgins.

Run Away!! Run Away!!!!!!!
 
who is KOS?
 
Meanies. You're all meanies.

Althouse especially.
 
KOS left the toilet sest up.

CK Dexter Haven
 
Kos killed Rasputin.
 
"An entire metric assload."
-snurk- That's the sound of coffee shooting out of my nose. Funny, but worth the mess on my keyboard? I'm not sure.
 
You must read Wolcott's latest on this...he offers himself as mediator:

Because when you think of goodwill, you can’t help but think of me.

Gavin at Sadly, No! has the REAL deal on those infamous, insidious Townhouse emails, too.

I don't often agree with Kos, but those stupid prats at TNR have really shot themselves in the foot. And they don't seem to be able to stop.
 
Best.

Title.

Ever.
 
The metric system is a communist plot. Here in America assloads must properly be measured in like regular pounds and inches and things like that.

Why does the metric system Hate America?!
 
Kos is responsible for global-warming, if it existed.

Saddest (most bathetic) Althouse comment evar
 
As usual, the face of Markos Moulitsas, the Enemy of the People, had flashed on to the screen. There were hisses here and there among the audience. The little sandy-haired woman gave a squeak of mingled fear and disgust. 'Kos was the renegade and backslider who once, long ago (how long ago, nobody quite remembered), had been one of the leading figures of the Democratic Party, almost on a level with Joseph Lieberman himself, and then had engaged in counter-revolutionary activities, had been condemned to death, and had mysteriously escaped and disappeared. The programmes of the Two Minutes Hate varied from day to day, but there was none in which 'Kos was not the principal figure. He was the primal traitor, the earliest defiler of the Party's purity. All subsequent crimes against the Party, all treacheries, acts of sabotage, heresies, deviations, a and anti-Bushism sprang directly out of his teaching. Somewhere or other he was still alive and hatching his conspiracies: perhaps somewhere beyond the sea, under the protection of his foreign paymasters, perhaps even -- so it was occasionally rumoured -- in some hiding-place in Oceania itself.

(Satiristically-adapted from "1984" with apologies to George Orwell; apologies also to Big Brother for the Lieberman comparison. As for Billmon using an Orwell reference today, well... anyone who isn't thinking "Orwell" isn't reading the newspapers.)
 
Remember the old wuote by Gandhi?

Well, they are no longer ignoring us.

They're not laughing anymore either, and if this is their idea of putting up a fight, it's pretty darn pathetic.

Then.....
 
The Warren Commission completely neglected Kos' role in the assassination of Kennedy.

...and we can only stop Kos by taking away his comptuers!

Then breaking his legs so he can't get to any other computers!

Then kidnapping his wife and kid so they can't bring him any computers!

And his friends and neighbors! We'll have to kidnap them, too! They may bring Kos computers!!
 
Kos stole my Shoe!!
 
Kos never sleeps; he waits.

In fact, I've never seen Kos and Chuck Norris in the same room. Hmm.
 
Kos used to beat me up for my lunch money in 2nd grade.
 
He turned me into a Newt!

Then I took over Congress with a Contract On America!
 
I am shockified and appallionioused. I have never in all my years as a bloggsquatter commenter seen such raw sewage.
# posted by ellroon : 9:02 PM

Roast Beef says 'hey.'

Kos owes my Golden Retriever a new hymen.
# posted by justathought : 9:17 PM

No, that's the Junior Senator from PA. Unless you want to brand Kos as the 'enabler.' Hmm.

Kos never sleeps; he waits.

# posted by Doug : 12:48 PM

In Dread R'lyeh Kosthulhu lies dreaming. THE STARS ARE RIGHT!
 
Golden Retrievers have hymens?!
 
"do you expect us to blog, markos?"

"no, i expect you die."

(i keep trying to get away from blogwhoring, but they keep pulling me back in)
 
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